The long after dress.
File under: Things I wrote a long time ago. Specifically February, 2008.
Last night i came home thinking about my little beauty Carolyn who just got engaged and is taking me with her today to see what might possibly be “the dress.” I also was thinking about my gown and how it’s simply not fair that i don’t get to wear it again. I want to wear it everyday, or at least monthly and instead it hangs inside my closet in its protective bag, its day in the sun long over.
I was changing clothes from work, thinking about Carolyn’s excitement and remembering my own and i just couldn’t take it anymore so i crept in the next room and pulled the dress out and put it on. I stared at myself in the mirror with my hands down to my sides.
I twirled around once to see that swish I had loved, when suddenly, I startled as Brent opened the door to our bedroom. I let out a small gasp and ran inside our walk in closet
like I’d been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to. I was a bit embarrassed but Brent was smiling at me. What are you doing silly girl? he asked as I peered around the door frame. “Nothing. nothing… just let me change”, I said back. He came in and pulled me out into our room where he could look at me. “I just wanted to feel that feeling again” I said, “I miss being a bride”
“You’ll always be my bride” he said back as he finished zipping up the back of my gown.
We both stood looking at my dress in the mirror. “You should put it on whenever you want.”
“I think I will.” And shortly there after, feeling satisfied, it went back in the closet for another month.
A wedding dress never releases its magic. I felt it the first time I put my mother’s gown on,and every time I slipped the satin and lace of my own over my head. It absorbs all the anticipation and joy and bride holds within herself and keeps it fresh always.
Even when that dress stops fitting me, and the years since our wedding day become many,I will never stop peeking in that bag, holding the fabric between my fingers and remembering.
~Melissa
